Words by James Nye
Pictures by Niklas Halle’n
The world’s oldest mother has told Elizabeth Adeney to hold her head
high and ignore critics who feel she is too old to have a child.
Speaking from India, Rajo Devi, who gave birth in December last year
at the age of 70, has offered advice and support to Adeney, who has
faced a barrage of criticism after becoming the UK’s oldest mum at 66.
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“Why should she be embarrassed? I salute her!” says Rajo.
“She must be proud of herself. She risked her life and gave birth to a
baby. It is a courageous effort.”
Speaking from her simple brick house in the town of Badhu Patti, in
the north Indian state of Haryana, Rajo expressed her dismay when told
of the controversy surrounding Adeney thousands of miles away in
Britain.
“It is a purely personal choice,” explains Rajo.
“Everybody has the right to do whatever they want to do. Any woman who
wants to have children at an older age must be allowed that, as long
as a doctor has said it is fine.
“If some one says to me it is bad I tell them bluntly, that is your
problem and it is not mine, for I now have a beautiful child.
“Do you wish I didn’t have my child? Do they wish her (Elizabeth’s)
child was not alive?”
Sitting with her six-month-old girl Naveen on her lap, Rajo and her
husband Bala Ram beamed as they spoke of how their 55 year wait for a
child ended last year after IVF treatment.
“If you have been waiting all your life to have a child and are ready
for it, then anyone must be allowed,” says Rajo.
“This is especially true for women like me and Elizabeth who are
having their first child.”
Rajo and Bala Ram, who is 72, both raised wry smiles when asked what
was now in store for Elizabeth, who gave birth to a son by caesarean
section on Tuesday of last week (May 26).
“I had no experience of rearing a baby and in old age it becomes
difficult to learn things but still I mange to keep my baby alright
with the help of my husband and sister,” says Rajo.
“She just wakes me once during the night. I need to feed her milk and
change her clothes.
“When you love some one and try so hard to get them in this world then
you can sacrifice your rest time.
“And I have got lot of support from my family especially my husband
and sister, Om Pati, who take care of her when I can not manage.”
Fit and healthy, Naveen has still caused her parents a few sleepless
nights when she has come down with a case of the sniffles.
“My neighbours have laughed with me when my baby becomes ill,” says
Rajo.
“Being older, I am used to telling younger members of my village to
get on with life when they become ill.
“Now, when my little girl gets a cold I make the whole world stop to
make sure she gets to the doctor so I can make sure she is not really
ill.”
Dividing the care of her child between her immediate family, Rajo
offers her sternest advice to Elizabeth Adeney on the pressures of
being an older mother.
“I would like to hold her hand and take her through my struggles,”
says Rajo.
“She is a courageous woman as she has decided to have a baby at such
an old age.
“It is not only difficult health wise but it is also a taboo. People
say lot of things and one needs courage for facing that.”
“It is a tiresome job for her. She needs the support of her family.
Imploring Adeney to ignore any critics who say she is too old, Rajo
says that Elizabeth needs to keep her strength for her child.
“She must keep the health of the baby on priority,” Rajo says.
“Besides, she must take good care of her own health. If she is healthy
then only she can rear her child well.
“I strongly advise her to feed the baby her own milk because that is
healthy for the baby and is disease free. If she does that it will be
very easy for her and she will enjoy it.”
Having conceived a child through IVF treatment at the controversial
Hisar National Fertility Clinic in Haryana, Rajo offers her sympathies
to Adeney as she struggles to return to full health.
“”My last months of pregnancy were difficult because I could not move
easily and became weak. But god gave me enough courage to come out of
it well,” says Rajo.
“Elizabeth will face a long road to feel herself again and that will
be difficult as she tries to care for her new-born son.”
Having mortgaged their crops and taken out high interest loans from
local lenders to pay for the IVF treatment, Rajo and her husband are
in debt to the tune of £2000.
“The debt is manageable,” Rajo says firmly.
“What we have is worth more than all the money in the world and that
is what matters.”
However, one subject that is never far from Rajo’s mind is the
unavoidable one of her advanced age and what that may mean for her
child’s future.
“Every mother worries for her children in that way,” explains Rajo.
“If I would die tomorrow there are enough people to take her care.
Every mother would love to see her children grown up and standing on
their own feet.
“But if I die tomorrow it is my destiny and my child has the chance to
have her own”.
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